Warm Sweatshirts in the Cold Winter

Today is Christmas. I am not usually a fan of Christmas, as it brings lots of fights over material belongings. This year wasn’t too bad, since I bought some of the stuff I wanted and made my wish lists pretty simple. But I want to make this post about one item I am truly happy for. Not to say that I am not truly happy for what I got for Christmas, but this one was a blog post for this month.

Alayna got me a hoodie for Christmas. It’s one of NF’s hoodies featuring his “The Search” album. She bought for me as a present in advance, when she knew I was lower on money after I bought my car earlier this year. Man, I am so excited to get it.

I know that the sweatshirt itself is a material good, but I am happy that she is supporting me. If you were to meet me in real life, I usually wear hoodies and jeans, and now, my high top shoes. I like this look because its simple, has multiple things I can pair my outfits with, and it’s something that I feel comfortable wearing. I can wear it to any of my jobs and it’s acceptable. I can wear it to my school and it’s normal. I can fall asleep or do anything in these clothes. I can go to some formal events and this is acceptable. Plus, now that I got my pair of headphones that I’ve been waiting for months to get, the look I’m trying to get is here! I finally feel comfortable with myself, after all of these years looking for something material to wear, buying and falling into the consumerism ideal set of material goods = status. NO! That is not true!

You make your own status. How you want to adorn yourself is up to you, but what makes me “cool” is my attitude in my opinion and how I carry myself.

I finally have a friend who wants me to be comfortable. Elizabeth and my family have gotten me hoodies before. I am not discounting their efforts and their care. The message I am sending is that now my friends are understanding me. This is a breakthrough and a testament that I do have the power to make change through my writing. They are understanding that I am a person sometimes needs space, so I’ll put my hood up and cover up my ears, as they often get cold in the warmer months. And, what’s even cooler, is that the hoodie has lyrics from “The Search” on the back. So cool!

Guys, let’s just set something straight. And when I say this, I mean anyone, but also actual men/teens/boys/kids, etc. I want you to know that clothes do not make you “cool.”

There is no amount of money that can make you “cool.” Money is a tool. I know people who are struggling financially and they have such an awesome sense of style. I know people who are stupid rich and have fashion sense. Being “cool” is how you perceive yourself to be. The only reason why I know I’m “cool” is because I write. That’s it. If you haven’t read Intro II, a quick summary is that I write to find myself and understand myself and others. There is nothing more “cool” than being comfortable with yourself, or at the very least learning to be comfortable with yourself. And people will acknowledge that you are “cool” if you look to understand them. People only be around like minded people. Which is why I can make so many friends easily, because I want to understand them and meet them halfway; treat them with respect and dignity that they deserve, as I would want them to do for me.

I’ve spent so many years of my life not knowing how or what I should be. I’ve always looked to others for inspiration, rightfully, but never found my niche. Which is why I love the color gray. It’s true neutral. It’s a blank canvas. Whatever you mix with gray, it complements, a fusion of black and white. I learned to add elements of what I do like from different things and that will be “me.” Yes, I am a video gamer, I enjoy multiple types of media for sending story lines or entertainment. I am also a romantic, I have fallen in love with Elizabeth and will help her achieve her dreams as she wants to help me. I am also a feminist, and push the agenda for equality for all living beings. I am also a writer, on the mission for my words to shake the world and shape my life the way I want it to be. I am also a person; I am male, with emotions. Emotions because I am not a robot. I know it’s okay for me to feel, and there is nothing wrong with me expressing my feelings. Because if I bottle it up, it makes the hate stronger and backlash on others. There is no shame in being you. I am who I want myself to be. The same with you.

Being raised with such strict morals is a great factor in this. But I wasn’t always comfortable being myself. I needed places to be alone sometimes. Sometimes I felt that I needed to be isolated, or that I felt alone, so I needed a mechanism to hide in plain sight. So I adopted the hoodie to my style. I am not a fan of not having a zipper on my hoodies, but I realized that if I wear clothing that can be opened up from the inside out, people can enter my space whenever they want. The one way entry is perfect for me, as one hoodie can only fit one person. Hoodies help me achieve the space that I need. Plus, having song lyrics on your clothing is a great way of wearing what you represent, especially since I also have NF’s limited edition “Leave Me Alone” hoodie in my possession as well, with the entire song all over the hoodie.

I need to find more hoodies like that, with song lyrics on it. That’s gonna be my new style.

Just a quick appreciation post over my Christmas present. Thank you, Alayna! And have a Merry Christmas everyone!

-J.E.

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