Space, Part 3

Sometimes I need spiritual space. I swear that this will be the end of the trilogy of space. Or I will try and make it the end. If it extends, it extends.

I was raised in a primarily Christian household. My mom is a very firm believer in the Christian faith, but I wasn’t. I am somewhat of a “seeing is believing” person. Not that there is anything wrong with Christianity, well, actually, no, there is. The religious subordination of women is a big issue I have with Christianity, but that’s besides the point I’m trying to make.

No, actually let’s make space for this. WOMEN INHERENTLY NEED EQUAL RIGHTS AS MEN! NO COMPROMISE. They deserve the right to their own bodies, their practices, their clothing, their lives. They don’t need men. There is no such need for women to be extremely dependent to men as history and some of modern culture depicts. Women are strong enough to do what they need. And there is no reason to hang their power over their heads when they need to be born with it, without it being earned by standards that society creates.

Phew. I feel better getting some of that off of my chest. When I asked my Pastor why women can’t be Pastors and he said that women can’t and the Bible said so was not the answer for me. Because who probably wrote the Bible? Men. Who knew how to write at that time, most likely? Men.

Don’t get me wrong, I do believe in spirituality. I to believe in miracles. But my beliefs are different than others. I believe in spirituality, but in the sense of auras. Everything and everyone has an aura, no matter how potent or faint. And I do believe in miracles, but I guess I can say that I am a cause-and-effect type of person. That miracles can only happen when the requirements for them to happen are met.

I took an oath as a Christian to be baptized. I am not saying I am going against that. Well, with my declaration of my earlier statement, I guess I am. The point being is that I don’t want to believe in something so strictly disenfranchising to others. I have so many philosophical and ethical questions that I want to use towards people of religious faiths. People can believe in what they want to believe in, and I won’t be against it. I have always been fascinated in other religious cultures, because as a writer and upcoming professor, I’m going to be working with a diverse array of people. And I am going to meet them halfway, it’s not a need. I am going to understand their principles and their background and create a space to talk to people with. I am going to let them be free to be themselves.

My spiritual space does not nullify people’s beliefs. I want to make things clear. If you come in my En, please understand that I am willing to meet you halfway. I may not be always emotionally/mentally ready to do so, but that is the principle of my space. I want people to feel comfortable being themselves. I know what it’s like to be held back just for the two cents of someone else. Forget their two cents, I’ll write for free and learn more from my hard work interacting with the people around me.

This is not to say that I don’t have an inherent bias. I am flawed; I am a sinner; I am a human. There are somethings about me that I cannot change, but I am learning to be more conscious of. I won’t stand for someone using their power to subordinate or lessen another if I can make a difference. That’s not how I was raised and that’s not how I continue to live by.

Basically, what I believe in is my spirituality. I believe in my potential. I believe in the potential in the people around me. I believe in change, but there is a long road before change is permanent, and even then change can only exist when we are actively practicing it. I believe in my Power. I know that I am a Hypocrite. I am learning, I am evolving, I am growing.

This is it. This is my space. Stay if you’d like. You are welcome to. If you want to leave, thank you for trying. Hopefully you learned something from it.

If you don’t like my space then I’m not going to beg you to stay. Leave on your own. I wish we can compromise, but there are some truths that cannot be fulfilled halfheartedly.

But if your soul still persists, welcome aboard. I hope we can become good friends, close ones, even. Or even brothers and sisters, an extended family that just wants positive change. Just know that my definition of “friend” and yours are different, and I’ll do more than you’d think for my friends.

-J.E.

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