Visualize

“Take a deep breath and close your eyes,” the leader tells us.

And I obey. I need to close my eyes for once. A setting where I can let my guard down, in public? I’m so in for it.

I position myself in my chair, firmly planting my feet onto the ground, and then lightening the pressure on my shoes. I release my hands from my pockets and lay them parallel to my legs. For once, I sit up straight, and try to align my next with my spine, in the most comfortable way possible.

I close my eyes. My sights are dark, as expected.

“Now, visualize your happy place,” the instructor says.

I drain the darkness out of itself and there is only light. I am floating in this vacuum of space, with all of my clothes and possessions on my person on me. I have no weight nor is their gravity that is affecting me. I only drift aimlessly.

I increase the output of my aura, trying to stabilize myself. By increasing my energy into a certain direction, my body rotates. I’m making progress, so I justly fix the output area and make myself stand upright. I push myself down into the white space until I find the floor. I land lightly and take a few steps, stretching out my body.

“Now, think of someone you care about,” the adviser tells us.

And a girl with red hair appears. Her blue eyes tell a story that I know all too well, since it’s our story. We embrace and sit down, and start talking about her day. I can feel her aura coming off of her, but it’s familiar, and our energies hug one another. Becoming linked spiritually, the white space washes away, and turns into a park. We walk to a bench and continue our conversation, feeling at ease.

“Look and feel your environment,” coach pushes us.

I can feel the wood on the bench, its weathered body still holding up to this day. I can feel the sun imprint its warmth onto me, on my hands, on my hoodie, and on my jeans. I can feel the gentle breeze pushing my face towards the right, causing me to admire the mountainside that we are near. The sounds of birds chirping in a nearby tree remind me that life still has its uniqueness, and each life is precious and important. Just because one can talk and fight can’t solve all of our issues.

With a deep breath, I let out all of my issues. My happy place begins to fade. I had my few minutes of enjoyment, and the red headed girl gives me a sincere smile and walks away, bringing all of the life with her, as she walks into the white void. I become weightless again, floating back up from where I came. Once I am at my center, the opening where the dark came erupts, eating the white viciously.

I open my eyes. I stretch in my seat and take out my notebook and begin writing.

-J.E.